What is a ruined orgasm?
Ruined orgasm? That doesn’t exactly sound fun! Well, it really can be fun, especially if used repeatedly (on both males and females). The basic idea behind ruining an orgasm is to reduce those overwhelming sensations of orgasmic pleasure to a tiny trickle of a tease that results in only a partial orgasm with minimal pleasure experience. This tease and ruin cycle lead to a super intense psychological need to get to that orgasmic peak of pleasure. For men specifically, this repeated cycle of tease and ruined orgasm can also help you have a more intense and longer lasting orgasm (we’re talking hours to days of happy hormones dancing in your mind and body). Doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?
Difference between ruined orgasms and denied orgasm play
Now, take care to realize that ruined orgasms and denied orgasms are different – even if closely related on the sexy spectrum of kinks. Ruined orgasms are still orgasms. Denied orgasms mean the orgasm did not happen at all – only almost (close, but no cigar, I could go on). Attempting a denied orgasm may lead to a ruined orgasm, especially if your play partner hasn’t been honest about their point of ‘no-return’ while playing (I see you brats out there). Don’t worry about it too much though, this ruined orgasm can still serve your purposes in dominance and submission play sessions. It will also count as a learning experience in your partner’s body language to help you figure out when to stop in your next session.
Methods of ruining orgasm
Ruining an orgasm is a fairly easy thing to do…. At least in theory. Generally the idea is to take away all of that fun stimulation and sensation – just at the point of no return – you know, that moment where you are going over the edge and into the orgasmic plane. When you’re playing by yourself, that tends to be much easier to recognize. When you’re playing with a partner, you may have to try it a few times (or even more) to get to know exactly when to stop – unless the partner is very open and honest about when they are hitting that point – you’ll have to learn what cues their body is giving you to maximize the effect. Need some ideas on how to ruin your or your partner’s orgasm? Check out this list of ideas:
- Abandonment – the most simple method of ruining an orgasm is to suddenly remove/stop all arousing stimulation just as the orgasm is beginning to take over the body. If you’re using a toy – suddenly remove it; if you’re in the middle of sex – pull away and maybe finish by yourself as an extra torture for your partner that isn’t being allowed to finish. There are literally hundreds of ways to apply this.
- Slow Orgasm – This is aimed more specifically at the male play side of things, as females can orgasm (partially and fully) basically without limit – it won’t have the same effect on a woman (you can still try it just for fun though). The idea here is to again, build up to that point of no return before backing down to an excruciatingly light touch. This causes a severe drop in sensation, but allows for a partial, somewhat leaky ejaculation effect (instead of that full on jet sensation). When repeated over and over again in a session, this can totally drain the male’s testes of ejaculate – though, he can still technically orgasm – only it will be a dry orgasm that can be uncomfortable (for some, it’s kind of a goal).
- Infliction of Pain – This is a wonderful and encompassing method for those who like a little bit of ‘torture’ in their play. Ruining an orgasm through the use of a quick smack to the underside of the head (frenulum) is a possibility, and similarly for women, a smack to the clitoris can have the same effect (sometimes opposite depending on the personal tastes – nothing is more fun than experimenting to find out!). Another pain based method for males to a achieve a ruined orgasm is to squeeze either the shaft of the penis or even squeeze the balls themselves to prevent the ejaculate from escaping fully.
- Plugging/Covering – For those who desire a different sensation in addition to their ruined orgasm, plugging or thumbing the flow of semen is an interesting option. You can try this out very easily by working yourself or your partner to the beginning of the orgasm before simply grasping the head and placing your thumb over the hole. Some might prefer the use of the palm over the head of the penis instead. It may take time to figure out just exactly how much pressure to apply to the penis, as the pressure of orgasm can be much stronger than expected (as well as the comfort level of the penis owner) – and things might get a bit messy. If you like what you feel and want to take things further with ruined orgasm, you can invest in a urethral sound or penis plug kit. These are basically thin, smooth sticks that are placed into the pee hole of a penis. Keep in mind that this particular form of play will require more behind the scenes care and maintenance for health purposes.
Ruined orgasms are obviously a fun way to experiment with yourself or your partner. However, prostate fluid buildup from the prevention of ejaculation in men can cause bacterial infection. These are no fun, and can be spread to the rest of the body if not prevented or cared for properly.
This build-up of bacteria and the potential for infection can be prevented through what is called ‘prostate milking’ (can also be dangerous if not performed correctly -i.e. Tearing of skin tissue, pushing infection into the blood, and severe exacerbation of hemorrhoids). Milking the prostate can be immensely enjoyable (shaft and prostate stimulation) or can be performed sheerly for the milking process without the addition of pleasurable stimulation. It’s a good idea to speak with a medical professional for tips on how to perform prostate milking safely.
Finally, if using penis plugs or urethral sound kits – you will need to sanitize your toys thoroughly and completely, as well as invest in sanitary gloves, lubes, and more to ensure your health. While some have incredibly strong immune systems, it is always better to play it safe rather than sorry! Keep it safe and sane out there!